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46204 notes Reblog

1 hour ago

portablemiah:

LGBT… lesbian… gay…….b.. bicycle…… tr……. tricycle…

(via orgasmictipsforgirls)

169462 notes Reblog

1 hour ago

tupacabra:


you’ve been hit by
you’ve been struck by
a smooth criminal
132534 notes Reblog

1 hour ago

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

(via erens-jaeger-bombs)

151681 notes Reblog

1 hour ago

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1 hour ago

8941 notes Reblog

2 hours ago

"

Yesterday, a teacher at my daughter’s preschool told me that she saw two boys and a girl spinning the knobs of a play oven. Boy #1 says: “I’m a pilot! I’m flying a plane.’ Boy #2 says: “Me too!” The girl is quiet, so the teacher says to her: “What about you, are you a pilot?” The 3 year old girl replies: “I can’t be a pilot. I’m a pilot’s wife.”

So what do you think has happened in this little girl’s short life to make her believe it’s more likely that she would be a pilot’s wife than a pilot?

"
342371 notes Reblog

1 day ago

thatawkwardblondechick:


The tweet that saved the entire female population
115311 notes Reblog

1 day ago

billyjojo:

rhiannonisperfxoxoxo:

billyjojo:

"punk died when green day became famous"

nah son punk died when elitist snobs like your sorry ass started treating punk like some sort of secret club with pathetic rules

Green Day, NOFX, Anti-Flag and Bad Religion killed punk.

nah son punk died when elitist snobs like your sorry ass started treating punk like some sort of secret club with pathetic rules

(via lion-in-the-tardis)

26071 notes Reblog

1 day ago

blastortoise:

Why would you intentionally eat olives like what in the fuck? are you okay? is someone forcing you to do this? You need me to call the police let me know so we can help you

(via lion-in-the-tardis)

275911 notes Reblog

1 day ago

thedebonairgentlequeer:


wryer:

“In 1921, early suffragettes often donned a bathing suit and ate pizza in large groups to annoy men…it was a custom at the time.”

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